Infertility is a hard thing to deal with on its own. Even if a couple is on the same page with how they plan to address their fertility struggles, the stress and disappointment that comes with all of it can cause significant strain on a couple. This gnawing tension becomes even more severe when a couple cannot agree on an infertility treatment options.
It may be possible that one member prefers one option over another, like egg donation over adoption; or it may be very well possible that one member just wants to end any more pursuits of having a family. Regardless of where the disagreement occurs, like with any issues between a couple, communication is vital. Infertility is undoubtedly a significant issue that will test t a couple’s problem-solving abilities.
For a woman going through fertility treatment, the process itself is both physically and emotionally exhausting. Medications, hormonal changes, constant doctor visits, can all lead to feelings of burnout where she no longer wants to proceed with any future treatments. The opposite is also possible, where the other partner may not want to continue pursuing any more infertility treatment options. It will all depend on each couple, but if one partner wants to call it quits and not the other does not, this can be a devastating blow to the partner who still desires a family, and this can certainly put any relationship at stake. But with effort, honesty, and openness, a couple can come together and find a resolution to their disagreement.
As with all relationship issues, it becomes vital that the lines of communication remain open. Otherwise, if one or both members stay quiet, resentments begin to grow, and it may eventually be too late to save the relationship.
Therefore, it becomes increasingly crucial that couples clearly communicate their desires and expectations openly and honestly. It’s also just as important that both members listen attentively without passing judgment on one another. By actively listening to your partner, you avoid having a competition where one member is trying to prove the other wrong and win the argument.
No one is right or wrong in feeling the way he or she feels. The end goal of this type of discussion is to find common ground and to come to a compromise with how to proceed going forward with infertility treatment options if any at all. Whether a couple chooses to continue pursuing treatment options or decides to stop all treatments and be willing to accept a life without children, the most important thing is that the couple arrives at this decision mutually and honestly.
During this conversation, it’s also important that both people, both individually and as a couple, assess their current situation and their expectations about any future pursuits to have a family. This assessment must be done objectively and should involve questions that pertain to issues such as your finances or how your decision can affect your other relationships with friends and family, and how you plan to deal with them if they disagree with your decision. You won’t be able to make everyone happy. When it comes to having children, everyone has their own opinions. But the decision involves you and your partner and not everyone outside of your relationship. You are both directly affected by infertility because only you and your partner will be responsible for the consequences that will result from your decisions.
Understandably, disagreements over infertility treatment options are something no couple would want to endure. But if it does come down to it and you and your partner can overcome it, then both of you will grow as individuals and as a couple, thereby strengthening your relationship.